Hey there my child–
There is nothing you can do or not do that will make me love you less.
I will not steer your choices or your interests by showing more approval for you when you make a certain choice over another.
You do not need to sculpt who you are into a version of yourself that keeps me the most comfortable, safe, or happy. No!
My happiness or unhappiness is not your responsibility. You be You.
You are free to grow, to be, to change, to emote, to pursue whatever you like.
My happiness is my own responsibility.
I will discover how to connect with my inner calm whether you are sad or angry or hurt or mean. Whether you are eating Junior Mints or Cheetos or apple slices or cauliflower. Whether you are drawing with pencils on a paper pad or playing a video game. Whether you make your hands into a gun or a peace sign. Whether you cut your hair or wear it in braids or leave it tangled and long.
I will love you broadly no matter what.
I will find my connection to my own center, my own Source, in my own way. I don’t need to depend on your obedience to my vision for that.
And I will do my best to meet you where you are, to shake off my rigid thinking (you will show me where my ideas are rigid over and over again–thank you for that!).
To play the video game with you (actually soooo much fun, who would have thought?!).
To bring you Junior Mints and get myself a treat as well (thank you for helping me remember the innocent enjoyment of sweetness for sweetness’ sake!).
To watch horror movies together even though I thought it was a genre I never could endure (they are actually quite funny and I wonder how they made that gore prosthetic?!).
To play Barbies for hours (afterall, my own comfort & confidence in my body is going to influence you so much more than the proportions of a plastic doll! And it is actually pretty fun to dress them up and create stories and adventures through play together).
To watch YouTube videos about games you like to play (isn’t it amazing how someone can make money by doing what they love and posting videos of it on the internet? And there is so much creativity involved in these games!).
And as you dabble and explore the world and find Joy in so many places that I wouldn’t have chosen for you if I had tried to control the choosing, you remind me to find Joy in so many unexpected places too!
Nothing is off limits for you. There is no place you might go in yourself where my love will not travel with you.
I can offer guidance, support, suggestions, questions, and lots of options–all without emotional weight attached. But I don’t need to control outcomes.
And if you do go somewhere where I find it difficult to Love, I know that is MY work to do. That is you showing me where my thinking is small and it is my opportunity to focus on connecting with mySelf, relaxing my thoughts, connecting with you, and making choices in my life that feel good to ME while you make the choices that feel good to YOU.
Ah, the world is so wide open now!
I will make mistakes along the way but when I do, it is my opportunity to apologize and practice with you how to repair conflict in a healthy way.
There is so much relief in relaxing my ideas around right and wrong. Instead, I embrace who you are and all the facets of life that you are drawn to while dropping my negative judgements about them.
Thank you for taking me on this journey! As I learn to know and trust you, I learn to know and trust myself as well.
Sparkle and Zest 